One-size-fits-all Marriage?

This op-ed by Katherine Franke at the NY times struck me as really profoundly odd.  Did I miss something?  Are there really laws that dictate different responsibilities for husband and wife in marriage?  Sure, there used to be, but are they still on the books and enforced in America?

Looking in from the outside, it seems like such laws are (or at least would be) completely ridiculous.  For every couple it looks to me like the relationship works however the couple wants it to work, and that getting married doesn't really change that.  Expectation change when a couple gets married, including the couple's expectations, and that can sometimes cause problems.  Those expectations aren't hard-wired in to marriage, though; they aren't in the vows.  At least I don't think they are, never having gotten married it is possible that I missed the bit where the clergy-person or justice of the peace explains how family responsibilities are to be divvied up and the penalties for failing to conform to the archaic arrangement.

For those who want to live in a committed relationship without getting married, why not get married and then keep living the way you have been living?  Why not act like marriage is the same thing as a committed relationship, and show everyone that it doesn't have to look like our parents' relationships, or like the marriages we can see on old re-runs or modern sitcoms?  Why let society boss you around and tell you to either conform to some stupid stereotype that doesn't fit you at all or get out?  Granted, some people can't adjust their expectations very easily and for them it may be better to just avoid the baggage they've given marriage, but for everyone else, why create lots of very similar legal categories?